hey, come back! you heard what your mother said!
hang on, baby. i'll save you!
a tweeting bird?
please, raoul. i can give you stars, i know i can. just drop the safe on my head one more time.
don't worry about me. i can take it.
pattycake! pattycake!
i don't believe it. i won't believe it.
but jessy.  she's the light of my life, the apple of my eye, the cream in my coffee.
divorce? never!
marriage is a two-way street and we're just experiencing a detour! jessica and i are going to get back together. we're going to be happy! h-a-p-p-i!
asleep in the bed.
aah!
i needed a place to hide. i'm in trouble, eddie.
don't worry, eddie, no one knows i'm here.
well, i asked the newsboy on the corner. he didn't know. then i asked a janitor, the fireman and finally the green grocer down the way. he was very helpful.
please, eddie, don't put me out. i didn't do it, i swear.
sure i wanted to win jessy back, but not that way.
after i left you, i went to see her at the ink & paint club.
she was on stage, so i found a piece of paper and wrote her a love letter.
'dear jessy. how do i love thee? let me count the ways. 1-1000, 2-1000,
hey, that wasn't very nice.
it took me almost an hour to compose that. but i decided not to leave it anyway. i'd read it in person, that was my plan.
don't do that! i'm innocent i tell ya. the police'll just dip me. they were waitin' for me when i got home last night. i ran.
gee, eddie, i'm a rabbit. we always run.
well, this is the moment of truth! and i've spoken the truth, but you won't believe the truth. so i guess the truth is my goose is cooked, my hash is slung. my fait is accompli.
won't anything change your mind?
you mean you believe me?
it's toon control!
you're gonna help me? how can i ever thank you?
eddie valiant.  you're under arrest! just kidding.
sorry, eddie, i forgot you're not a toon.
charmed, enchanted, pleasure's all mined.
may i?
does this help?
well, no, not any time. only when it was funny.
my philosophy is if you don't have a sense of humor, you're better off dead.
so that's what this little drama is all about.
i resent that innuendo! my wife is completely innocent.
the habeus corpus is thickening.
how do you know that?
well, mr. smarty-pants detective, your logic is specious. what prevented mr. acme from putting the will back in the safe before they killed him?
what should i do? who should i see? where should i go?
'things turned out fine and now she's mine'
'.  cause the merry-go-round went round.  hoo-hoo, hoo-hoo'
'my name is roger rabbit i've got a crazy habit i like to sing and dance and yuk'
'.  so brighten up and smile you schmuck'.
hey, don't i get an encore?
but that's my calling, my purpose, my raison d'etre. toons are supposed to make people laugh.  and believe me, those people needed a laugh.
angelo? he's a pal, a chum.
well.  i still don't think he'd turn me in.
a laugh can be a powerful thing, eddie. sometimes it's the only weapon we have in life.
i've met some cynical and miserable humans in my time. but you, edward valiant, are positively funereal!
go ahead and throw that punch. but you'd be more successful with a punch line.
my pal.
two.  bits! uh.  oh.
no, no. not the dip! eddie, tell him i didn't do it!
a blindfold, cigarette, noseplugs? just kidding.
but, eddie, you know what happens when.
oh, eddie, that was quick thinkin'. nothin' like usin' the old noggin, the noodle, the grey matter.
hey, benny, what were you in for?
valiant and valiant? who's the other valiant?
so what's our plan, our scenario, our modus operandi?
guess you haven't been here in a while. 'japs bomb pearl harbor'.
say, who's this guy laughin'?
gee, i didn't recognize you.  i've never seen you laugh before. that your brother makin' the rabbit ears?
huh?
gee, you shamuses are a tough audience, but what happened to you that was so dark, lurid, embittering?
a toon? noooo.
him? oh, he was vile, heinous, despicable.  a smear on the drafting board.
safe?
i'll get it.
wrong number?
gee, eddie, you're not gonna go, are ya? maroon'll be layin' for ya at nine o'clock.
i tell you what, maybe i better come with you.
you know, eddie, i'm not as much of a chump, and a patsy, a yokel as you think.
two bits.
yeah?
cucamonga? i don't know anybody in cucamonga.
don't shoot, eddie. it's me.
i followed you to the maroon studios. when i heard those shots, i thought i'd help you and investigate the inside of this trunk.
hmmm.  what would be the harm if i took her for a spin?
ah.  the open road.
hi, roger rabbit. love your work.
benny?
let's go!
we gotta do something!
i'm gonna save them, of course. you go for help. find dolores at the terminal bar. she'll know what to do.
it's time to make my move.
get 'em up. all of you! or i let the judge have it!
yes, it's me, my dearest. i'd embrace you but first i have to take care of some unfinished business.
go ahead. give me an excuse to fill you full of holes, pump you full of lead. how'm i doin', eddie?
not before i satisfy my sense of moral outrage.
you think you could get away with this? hah! we toons may be idiotic, but we're not stupid!
yes, justice, judge doom. the real meaning of the word probably hits you like a ton of bricks!
look, stars! ready when you are, raoul.
you guys think this is real funny, doncha? eddie, do somethin'!
yeah, isn't it great? keep it up, eddie.  you're killing 'em, you're slayin' 'em, you're knockin' 'em dead.
be comforted in the knowledge that as we face the grim dipper, our paint will be comingled for eternity.
eddie, look out!
that's because it's disappearing-reappearing ink. shows up three days later. gives you enough time to get away from the victim so he doesn't punch you in the nose. great gag.
that's right. if only we knew what happened to that will.
yeah?
good idea.
dear jessy.  how do i love thee? let me count the.  i, marvin acme, of sound mind and body.  hey?
hey, it's the will. i, marvin acme, of sound mind and body, hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo, do hereby bequeath in perpetuity the property known as toontown to those loveable characters.
 who have given me and the rest of humanity so much mirth and merriment.  the toons.
well, eddie, you still think i'm a patsy, a simp, a chump?
i guess i am at that. cigar?
and i'm glad you got your sense of humor back. think you'll keep it?
from this box here.