why did you eat that fruit? it's forbidden. everybody knows that.
i think, and i could be wrong, that all the poop makes the ground more fertile, which in turn, gives the leaves in the area a softer feel. it's a vicious circle. oh notices a very pretty young woman, eema, standing near the communal fire with two hunters. his heart leaps. oh hi, eema! eema turns, sees it's him and gives him a perfunctory wave, then turns back to the hunters and says something about oh that makes them laugh.
of course not! she's your sister! it'd be like sleeping with your mother.
my hut's a mess. and what if she struggles?
okay, i think somebody's had enough.
you make babies--
you always get like this when you smoke. oh takes a big toke on the pipe, chokes, and starts coughing uncontrollably.
no.
there's nothing on the other side of the mountains. everybody knows that. the world just ends. you'd fall right off the edge.
(tries to cheer him up will you stop with that crazy talk? we're at a feast. you love feasts. there's women, there's boar meat, there's an assortment of berries-- there's women-- oh looks over at eema. zed picks up on it.
you think? they're playing the jackal dance. i don't do that one so well.
i guess i'm with you.
no, the fire. i lost everything.
can we talk about this later? oh pulls zed to his feet, and they sneak off into the deep woods.
i don't think they'll forget the fire.
if it's that huge how would we carry it back?
yeah, we'll make everyone watch us eat a squirrel. will you get real? there's no going back! there's, nothing to go back to! it's just ashes.
what are you doing? zed makes a minimal gesture with his head. oh looks up. a cougar crouches on a tree limb above them, poised to leap. oh freezes. they talk like ventriloquists.
will that work?
what are you going to do?
yeah, big favor.
yes, you did! you looked right at me-- twice.
no, arrows. we're going to need them.
incredible. he takes a step forward, the rock shelf gives way beneath his feet and he falls a great distance, screaming all the way down, bouncing painfully off the big boulders, then a long, tumbling slide over sharp rocks and gravel to the bottom.
i see a pattern. every time something terrible can happen to me, it does.
you think? there's about a thousand footprints here.
no, thank you.
okay.
okay! enough! can we just go? maybe we can find where they peed. 14 then zed sees light through the trees and creeps 14 stealthily to the tree line. oh creeps up beside him and they peer through the bushes. three cows are grazing in a green pasture. beyond it, well- tended fields of growing grain. zed snaps into stalking mode, ducks down and silently signals oh to be quiet and stay put.
he's a hunter. i'm more of a "maker." i made this loincloth, i do arrows-- i made a shelf unit for my hut--
well, it's hard to say-- we just
shouldn't we do something?
probably just tuckered out from the fight.
right! you were holding the rock and he-- accidentally ran into it-- really hard-- with his head.
oh, yeah, people could so easily misinterpret that.
why don't we go with you?
hey! what about me?
that's really good.
do i have to?
(trying to change the
can i have one of those? he reaches for a loaf but the merchant strikes his hand with a cane. oh ow!
are you all right? did they-- rape you?
what an amazing coincidence-- running into you and maya and them.
to get laid?
which omnipotent force?
i don't know! what's "omnipotent" mean?
why would he want that?
why would god choose you? why wouldn't he choose marlak? he's stronger.
you do have a fat face.
they probably don't know how smart you think you are. finally, a bedouin sheik raises his giraffe-tail fly whisk and waves it at the slave trader.
hold on! i'm coming! oh tries to maneuver to zed, but can't move an inch. oh if everyone could just move to the right. please? thank you in advance for your cooperation. you can do it, zed! use his weight against him! marlak now has zed locked in a lethal choke hold.
their hats? i'm sorry, but when that one guy cut the other guy's head off, my first thought wasn't, "gee, what a great hat."
how are we going to rescue anybody? they're killers!
now where do we go? zed sniffs the air, puts his ear to the ground, and tastes the sand.
why do i listen to you? now we're going to starve to death or die of thirst.
you know, i've asked people about that and no one else seems to remember it.
he was a small man. oh collapses face down in the sand. pull back to reveal that they are surrounded by hungry jackals, vultures and hyenas.
are they nice?
and where exactly are those cities?
--of his wealthy bounty. abraham gets a strange faraway look in his eyes.
couldn't we could just get our ears pierced?
you have any idea where we're going?
the city! he said god's going to smite them with holy fire!
he seemed to know what he was talking about.
gee, they're not open. we should probably come back later.
me? why do i have to knock? what if we're waking somebody up? let's just get out of here.
meaner than this? the sentry grabs oh's nipple and twists. oh screams loudly. the guards freeze at the sound of his scream and look nervously to a closed door at one end of the room.
don't have to wait 'til morning.
we are so in! she's eye-knowing us like crazy.
well, i kind of have a girlfriend-- not a girlfriend, yet, but a girl i like, so i shouldn't--
sorry.
you look good, but i think my hat's too big. they notice an officer staring at them. oh do you happen to know where i could get a smaller hat? the officer pops him on the head with a truncheon.
you can't blame people for being hungry.
gee, i wonder why? the royal guard takes his foot off zed's neck and they all get back to their feet.
where's everybody going?
you throw the virgin in the fire so it'll rain?
can't i go with him?
hah! no? that would be weird.
you've been living here since you were nine? i should look into that. how do you get to be a eunuch?
i'm not supposed to talk. i'm a statue.
how's it going? i just had my whole body painted by a fat guy with no balls, and believe me, he was very thorough, if you know what i mean. how's it going with you?
that sounds nice-- for you.
there's eema! eema has been beautifully groomed and is now dressed as a household slave. she stops to serve some rowdy officers who take the opportunity to tease and fondle her. she tries to pull away but sargon, the general, grabs her arm.
i haven't joined anything. does this look like fun? they both look accusingly at zed.
what? like human sacrifice?
here we go again--
i don't know. so much has happened. sometimes i think-- she walks away. oh i love you.
i'd rather not, if you don't mind. i'm not really a slave. i'm a guard.
are those my choices?
how's that?
that enough?
no, really! i'm just-- rubbing oil on this man. she exits.
that's so-- unselfish of you.
so where does that hall lead to?
wow. so who cleans it?
no, of course not. kind of makes you wonder though-- the guys who built it, did they just die the minute they finished, or did the gods give them a second to get out?
yeah, that's probably it. so you're saying we can't go in?
seize him! the guards arrest oh as cain steps up and takes hold of zed.
what have you done for me? i've been attacked by a cougar, i've fallen down a mountain, i almost had the tip of my thingy cut off, i've been greasing up the high priest all night, and now i'm hanging upside down in a dungeon. and i have to pee real bad. all because of you. you call yourself a friend? name one good thing you've done for me.
i really have to pee--
and his friend! don't forget his friend! on the balcony, the king and his ministers hastily confer with the high priest.
okay, you think that actually makes anybody work harder? it just makes them resent you. is that what you want?
can i just ask when lunch is? the whip lashes out again. oh glowers at him and steps up the pace.
where're we going?
is that compulsory? because i saw one when i first got here and it made me a little sick-- the guard's whip catches him across the back. oh ow! why don't you try using your words for a change?
see the high priest? i know him. dear friend of mine.
we have to do something! somebody has to stop it. (turning to the other
he seizes the opportunity.
a sign! it's a sign! the chosen one comes! the other slaves and people in the crowd pick up his excitement.
i know him, too. oh springs into action, attacking the big guard in front of him. the other slaves see that and start fighting with their guards, a genuine slave revolt.
hello, eema.
eema, you're my woman! you hear me?
really? it's okay? he pulls her into an embrace and kisses her hard on the mouth. then, out of the corner of his eye, oh sees a guard rushing at him. oh whirls and falls off the platform, accidentally cutting the guards legs out from under him.
then how about this? the high priest turns to oh. oh is holding the big sacramental pitcher. oh more oil?
come back to the village sometime. zed nods, they shake hands, then they embrace. stifling a tear, oh breaks away and whips the lead camel. oh hee-ya! come on. people are watching. the camel looks at him and slowly lumbers off. oh sighs gratefully and signals the caravan to follow. as the great caravan moves off, zed is left standing there with nothing but a long staff, and a bundle on the ground beside him to which is tied his sword, shield and helmet. maya joins him.