-- although he likes to eat bits of pizza and bagel off the sidewalk, and i prefer to buy them. brinkley is a great catcher and was offered a tryout on the mets farm team --
mmmmmhmmm --
am i going?
can't i just give them money? that's the cause? free albanian writers? i'm for that.
all right, i'll go. you're late.
that sounds great.
is the electrician here?
i hear nothing. not a sound on the city streets, just the beat of my own heart. i think that's the way it goes. something like that.
engaged? are you crazy?
i love patricia. patricia's amazing. patricia makes coffee nervous. are we still on schedule?
i guess we should announce ourselves soon. tell people we're coming.
-- to picket --
--chain store --
-- everything we hold dear. but we'll seduce them with our square footage and our deep armchairs and our amazingly swift checkout lines and our discounts and our.
they hate us in the beginning, but we get them in the end. meanwhile we should just put up a sign -- coming soon, a foxbooks superstore and the end of western civilization as we know it.
kevin and i are both a little concerned about the neighborhood response -- what is this fabric? does it have a name?
gillian selected it.
oh, great, congratulations, dad. why?
love.
i have a very sad announcement to make. city books on 23rd street is going under
and i'm buying their entire stock -- architecture, new york history -- for the new store.
whatever it costs, it won't be as much as this exquisite mohair episode. we're also going to have a section on west side writers --
readers. they're called readers.
one mystery store. sleuth, on 86th and amsterdam. and a children's bookstore. the shop around the corner. been there forever.
who's that?
you wrote her letters?
wait. i've heard of it. it was a means of communication before i was born.
my father is getting married again. for five years he's been living with a woman who studied decorating at caesar's palace.
did you know that every night a truck pulls up to h&h bagels and pumps about a ton of flour into the ground? the air is absolutely amazing.
did you ever read homer price? my all- time favorite children's book.
hello. annabel, how are you today?
hey, big guy --
hello, gillian.
who is this?
i'm sorry to hear that.
that is so wise. remember that, annabel.
excellent, matt. good work. you can have the day off. i'll take over from here. you must be late for something. volunteer work at the henry street settlement. packing bandages for bosnian refugees. a course in chinese literature at columbia.
it costs so much.
it's true. annabel is my aunt. aren't you, aunt annabel?
annabel is my grandfather's daughter. and matt is my father's son. we are an american family.
who are you?
joe. just call me joe. we'll take these books.
of course.
-- likes to buy at discount. don't tell anyone that, annabel, it's nothing to be proud of --
matt, look at this dinosaur book. wouldn't you like a dinosaur book? annabel, maybe you could read this to matt while i wrap things up here. sit down, read, and don't listen to anything i say.
and the dinosaur book too.
you have, and you've made me feel.
lucky guess.
how old is your daughter now?
we ready?
absolut on the rocks.
hi.
of course i remember you.
good. she's good. i have to deliver this. i have a very thirsty date. she's part camel.
and you're kathleen.
-- were with. "i didn't know who you were with."
it's from the godfather. when the movie producer realizes that tom hagen is the emissary of vito corleone --
why would i spy on you?
the entrance to our store is around the corner. there is no other way to say it. it's not the name of our store, it's where it is. you don't own "around the corner."
twinkle lights?
look, the reason i came into your store is that i was spending the day with annabel and matt. i like to buy them a present when i see them because i'm one of those guys who likes to buy his way into the hearts of children who are his relatives. there was only one place to buy children's books in the neighborhood -- although that will not always be the case, and it was yours, and it is a charming little bookstore. you probably sell $250,000 worth of book a year --
i'm in the book business.
oh, i see, and we're the price club. only instead of a ten-gallon can of olive oil for $3.99 that won't even fit into your kitchen cabinet, we're selling cheap books. me a spy. absolutely. and i managed to get my hands on a secret printout of the sales figures of a bookstore so inconsequential and yet full of its own virtue that i was instantly compelled to rush over and check it out for fear it would drive me out of business
-- joe fox.
and this is kathleen kelly --
patricia --
i'm not really tired.
do you ever feel you become the worst version of yourself? that a pandora's box of all the secret hateful parts -- your arrogance, your spite, your condescension -- has sprung open. someone provokes you, and instead of just smiling and moving on, you zing them. hello, it's mr. nasty. i'm sure you have no idea what i'm talking about.
wouldn't it be wonderful if i could pass all my zingers to you and then i would never behave badly and you could behave badly all the time and we'd both be happy? on the other hand, i must warn you that when you finally have the pleasure of saying the thing you mean to say at the moment you mean to say it, remorse inevitably follows. do you think we should meet?
no pickets, no demonstrations.
it's early yet. school isn't out. and there's that children's bookstore nearby
her daughter's --
oh, hello.
do you need some money?
hi. rose. great name. rose, this is kathleen, i'm joe, and this is a credit card machine. happy thanksgiving.
mississippi is a hard word to spell. how do you spell it? i-t. now take this credit card and put it through the machine, zip zip.
so you're fine.
happy thanksgiving.
my mother took me ice skating too --
and i was in the nutcracker.
i had a gut feeling you would be on line now.
is it about love?
i'm a brilliant businessman. it's what i do best. what's your business?
minus specifics, it's hard to help. except to say, go to the mattresses.
it's from the godfather. it means you have to go to war.
the godfather is the i ching. the godfather is the sum of all wisdom. the godfather is the answer to any question. what should i pack for my summer vacation? "leave the gun, take the cannoli." what day of the week is it? "maunday, tuesday, thursday, wednesday." and the answer to your question is "go to the mattresses."
what is it?
it doesn't look like a menorah.
she's not as nice as she seems on television.
she's kind of a pill.
no, she's beautiful. but a pill.
it's not personal --
right. exactly.
i sell cheap books. sue me. i sell cheap books, and as a result -- listen to this, because it's really bad -- more people can buy books.
that's not all i said. i said -- i can't believe those bastards -- i said we were great, i said people can come and sit and read for hours and no one bothers them, i said we stock 150,000 titles, i showed them the new york city section. i said we were a goddamn piazza where people could mingle and mix and be.
i was eloquent. shit. it's just inevitable, isn't it? people are going to want to turn her into joan of arc --
well it's not me personally, it's more like it's the company --
he's a writer.
"where? when?"
really.
pride and prejudice.
i know. look, i'll just stay ten minutes. i'll say hello. drink a cup of coffee and split. i'm outta here.
what if she has a really high, squeaky voice? i hate that. it reminds me of those mice in cinderella.
gus-gus and oh shit, i can't remember the other one. why am i compelled to meet her? i'm just ruining a good thing.
i'm not going to stay long anyway. i already said that, didn't i. christ. i'm a total wreck.
kevin, this woman is the most adorable creature i have ever come in contact with. if she turns out to be even as good-looking as a mailbox, i will be crazy not to turn my life upside down and marry her.
you go look.
just go to the window and check her out.
see her?
yes.
what does he look like?
well, why shouldn't she?
can you see her?
and? --
she is. i knew she would be. she had to be.
kathleen kelly of the bookstore.
so what? who cares about kathleen kelly?
why not?
oh, god.
nothing.
yes. yes i am. that's exactly what i'm going to do. why not?
good night, kevin. i'll see you tomorrow.
kathleen kelly. hello. what a coincidence. mind if i sit down?
pride and prejudice.
i didn't know you were a jane austen fan. not that it's a surprise. i bet you read it every year. i bet you just love mr. darcy, and that your sentimental heart beats wildly at the thought that he and whatever her name is are really, honestly and truly going to end up together.
i'll get up as soon as your friend comes. is he late?
as a matter of fact i've read it.
i think you'd discover a lot of things if you really knew me.
what is it?
i think you have a gift for it. it was a splendid mixture of poetry and meanness.
don't misunderstand me, i'm just paying you a compliment.
what have we have? a red, no, crimson rose, tucked into the pages. something you read about in a book, no doubt. one of those books with a lady in a nightgown on the cover about to throw herself off a cliff.
it's a joke to you, isn't it? everything's a joke to you.
you know what the handkerchief reminds me of? the first day i met you --
i didn't lie to you --
i did not --
i never lied about it --
i am not a stupid 22-year-old girl --
and when i said the thing about the price club and cans of olive oil, that wasn't what i meant either --
i am going to take a wild guess that this isn't him, either. who is he, i wonder. not, i gather, the world's greatest living expert on julius and ethel rosenberg, but someone else entirely. will you be you be mean to him too? will you start out sweet as sugar candy and then suddenly, miraculously, like a bolt from the blue, find that sharp little tongue of yours?
but he's not here.
that is my cue. good night.
a real bitch. let's not talk about it. i'm going back to the office. you must have work to do.
i am in vancouver.
i was stuck in a meeting, which i couldn't get out of it, and there was no phone.
fuck you.
dear friend: i cannot tell you what happened to me last night, but i beg you from the bottom of my heart to forgive me for not being there.
-- for what happened. i feel terrible that you found yourself in a situation that caused you additional pain. but i'm absolutely sure that whatever you said last night was provoked, even deserved. and everyone says things they regret when they're worried or stressed. you were expecting to see someone you trusted and met the enemy instead. the fault is mine.
i'm sorry.
asshole.
i'm sorry. i don't know what to say. truly i don't. and anything i do say will sound trite. i hope you feel better.
why would you think that?
so you're going to offer her a job?
now that she's destitute --
well, i can't imagine her working for you.
she has a horrible personality, she's.  nice to everyone all the time. it's exhausting. and her staff turnover is .  non-existent. they've been there forever. until.  recently, when they all found out they were going to lose their jobs.
hello, charlie, veronica.
it is stuck?
charlie, what are you doing?
no.
this is joe fox. who is this? hi, juan. we're stuck on the sixth floor. there are four of us --
are you all right?
one -- two -- three --
if i ever get out of here, i'm going to --
i came home tonight and got into the elevator to go to my apartment. an hour later, i got out of the elevator and brinkley and i moved out. suddenly everything had become clear.
what about going to the children's zoo?
okay. the staten island ferry.
well we can't go to the storybook lady.
i'll read you a story.
she had to close her store.
she didn't have enough business.
well. her store was very close to our store, and you know our store sells books at a slightly lower cost --
why do we sell at a lower cost? so more people can buy books.
because she's small and we're big. how about we go get some candy?
it's business, annabel. it's not personal. how about we go get so much candy you'll be bouncing off the walls for days?
remember the man who worked with her?
well i hired him.
why haven't you written?
how's your cold?
are you feeling any better?
what are you doing here?
father and son, together at last. that happened with gillian?
-- the nanny --
-- also the nanny --
whose moon turned out to be in somebody else's house, as i recall.
gillian ran off with someone?
nanny maureen? gillian ran off with nanny maureen? that's incredibly ironic.
there's no other word for it.
patricia. you met her.
don't worry about it.
oh, right, a snap to find the one single person in the world who fills your heart with joy.
on to the next.
joe fox.
may i please come up?
kathleen?
hello.
i heard you were sick and i was worried and i wanted to -- is someone here?
bought any porcelain dolls?
i know that --
no.
no, i wouldn't think of --
my former?
we broke up.
things like that just seem to fly out of your mouth.
i bought you flowers.
why don't i put them in water?
you're sick. sit down, please.
vase?
george says hello. he told me you weren't feeling well.
great. he's revolutionizing the place. no one is allowed to work in his department who doesn't have a ph.d. in children's literature.
you told me.
i do.
oh, a couple of weeks ago.
-- charming.
well, you looked charming.
tea?
honey?
i was horrible.
whereas i am a horrible person and have no choice but to be horrible, is that what you're saying?
you did it again.
i put you out of business. you're entitled to hate me.
but you'll never forgive me. like elizabeth.
elizabeth bennet in pride and prejudice. she was too proud --
-- or was she too prejudiced and mr. darcy too proud? i can never remember. it wasn't personal --
nothing.
i wanted to be your friend.
i knew it wasn't possible. what can i say? sometimes a person just wants the impossible. could i ask you something?
what happened with that guy at the cafe?
but you're crazy about him --
then why don't you run off with him? what are you waiting for?
really.
let me guess. from the internet.
you've got mail.
very powerful words.
i'm happy for him. although -- could i make a little suggestion? i think you should meet him. no. i take it back. why meet him?
i concede i bring out the worst in you, but let me help you not to say something you'll just torture yourself about for years to come.
i hope you're better soon. it would be a shame to miss new york in the spring.
take care.
goodbye.
we should meet. and we will meet. but i'm in the middle of a project that needs.  .  tweaking.
tweaking?
he's probably married.
have you asked him if he's married? have you said, "are you married?"
am i married? what kind of a question is that? how can you ask me that? don't you know me at all? oh wait, i get it. your friends are telling you the reason we haven't met is that i'm married. am i right?
so he didn't exactly answer.
but he didn't exactly answer, did he? did he?
maybe he's fat.
you don't care that he might be one of those guys who's so fat he has to be removed from his house with a crane?
why else do you think he's putting off meeting you? although.  maybe that's not it. maybe.
never mind.
he could be waiting til he's paroled.
what's his handle?
come on, i'm not going to write him. is that what you think?
one five two. one hundred fifty two. very interesting. he's 152 years old. he has 152 hairs remaining on his head. he's had 152 moles removed and now he has 152 pockmarks.
his combined college board scores.
the number of women he's slept with.
that's the first good thing i've heard about him.
the boat thing?
oh.
how's your book coming?
mister 152 felony indictments --
yes. well. can't compete with that.
i think it is. want to bump into me saturday? around lunchtime?
how about meeting saturday? the first day of spring. 4 p.m. there's a place in riverside park at 88th street where the path curves and when you come around the curve, you'll find me waiting.
today?
whoa.
isn't that amazing? maybe i've seen him, and i don't even know it.
he could be the zipper man.
this guy on amsterdam who repairs zippers. you'll never have to buy new luggage.
timing is everything. he waited until you were primed. until you knew there was no other man you could ever love.
sometimes i wonder.
if i hadn't been foxbooks and you hadn't been the shop around the corner and we'd just met --
i would have asked for your phone number and i wouldn't have been able to wait 24 hours before calling and asking, "how about coffee, drinks, dinner, a movie, for as long as we both shall live?"
and then we would never have been at war.
the only fight we'd ever have is what video to rent on saturday night.
some people. not us.
if only.
let me ask you something? how come you'll forgive him for standing you up and you won't forgive me for a little tiny thing like putting you out of business?
oh how i wish you would.
you don't want to be late.
and she starts to cry.
don't cry, shopgirl, don't cry.