i'm part italian.
what's that mean?
'weeks?!'
i'm leaving today! now!
yeah. he's alright.
uh, i don't know.
"oh" what? what do you mean, "oh?"
i got to switch back. right now!
get out of here! just get out!
this is good!
did you get this thing at the mall?
so, where'd you get it?
grosss!!!
don't call me that!
aaahhh!
i can show you a few moves if you want?
not bad.
i taught him everything he knows.
had to come back.
where'd you learn to speak italian?
have you been?
look, this was a mistake.
oh, jesus.
huh?
no! i'm sorry. i shouldn't've come here.
janine said he's definitely there.
yes!
i'm sure.
can't this thing go any faster?!
you know me better than anyone. what do you think?
i mean, if i weren't a hundred percent sure which i'm s'posed to be. if you had to say.
it's not right. she deserves to be with a normal guy.
she's not gonna' want some guy who thinks maybe he's supposed to be a girl sometimes.
no way i'm gonna' ask her that.
let's go!
there!
you son-of-a-bitch! we're doin' it again, right now!
"sorry?!" fuck you! fuck me! now!
we're goin' inside right here!
so will i.
so what?
you're tellin' me, 'cause you're straight as a girl and i'm straight as a guy, we can screw and switch, but.
i'm just screwed.
what am i gonna' do?
fine!
michelle.
it's not what you think.
i'm not sure.
it's not what you think.
what about him?
not like that: i'm straight! i'm attracted to you!
no. this'll sound crazy, but i'm not who you think i am-
you know i'm a zerophiliac?!
does max know who i am?
he's a guy!
i'm not!
i'm not supposed to be!
is that what you think?! no!
he was a woman! i was tricked. i didn't know i'd switch.
yes!
she told me it would make it stop. that it would keep me from turning into a girl.
because i'm a zerophiliac.
luke.
what's it like? to really make love?
what am i gonna' do?
shut up! both of you! what, you want a written guarantee? you're so damn lucky! you're into him, he's into you. super-glue! what the hell else do you need to know?
and i don't know what half of who the hell i am.
i don't know. i prefer being a guy, but i'm a girl? i'm attracted to max, but i'm in love with michelle? it's like i'm s'posed to be both.
not too practical. but at least now i know.
hey.
i know she doesn't want to talk to me. but do you know where i can find her?
oh, man. . you're staying?
i wanted to apologize to her. forget it, i don't know,.  obviously, nothing's gonna' ever be with me and her, but i just wish she knew how much i, -and that i wasn't cheating, i was just trying to be a man for her. she'd have a field day with that one, huh?
if you talk to her, please just tell her, i'm sorry, and i wish her the best,.  everything.
i'm sorry. to you too.
mixed signals, i guess.
you all right?
i wish.
for whatever it's worth. i think you're a pretty hot guy.
truth is, i am. and i guess it sounds crazy, but i couldn't do that to michelle.
thanks.
excuse me?