what's wrong with it?
you have to watch my brother, max. he's sellin' you "t-sprocks?"
there's no such thing. last week he sold mrs. gustafson a whole set: six hundred bucks. my name's michelle.
you did?
no.
you askin' me out?
your name's "spanky?"
i'll talk to max. tell him to just replace the gasket.
look, i just split up with this total amoeba.
maybe i'll give you a call when the truck's ready.
i caught him with my best friend. former. such a cliche'.
winthrop hawkins. "hawk." from this park avenue family. he'd know what kind of mushrooms those are, what the best wine is.
i'm such a moron.
no, i am. i have incontrovertible proof.
it's a hawk. get it? "hawkins?" see, you're smirking!
and it's green! that's the one color tattoo they can't remove!
i'm considering a prosthetic foot.
what's the matter?
that's sweet.
so, what do you think makes a good relationship?
whoa. where'd that come from?
no, it's just not the usual guy thing. . you're great, you know?
yeah, thanks. it's amazing.
what did she tell you to try?
wild past, huh?
you.
yeah?
grains of sand.
your friends sorta' like each other, huh?
how'd they meet?
you're not s'posed to say that. that's a total pathetic, loser thing to say. but i'm gonna' take it as a huge compliment.
okay, two word answers only. why'd you ask me out in the first place?
gentle.
hot. deep. three words.
friendship. trust. you?
so much for "deep."
point zero zero zero one.
definitely! i'd like to get good at this pool thing.
okay, i'm gonna' break this wide open!
god. sorry.
we just wanted to know if you're alright. after last night.
good. good.
i had a really good.
hi.
i'm okay. you?
thanks. i was hopin' you might call.
there's something i need to talk to you about. -but did i do something wrong?
like what?
there's nothing you can't tell me.
nothing really. so, heard you and max really got into it?
he knows how to push buttons, huh? what exactly did he say that got you so pissed off?
he's actually a really nice guy.
did he scare you off?
it's just an act. he likes pretending he's joe cool. always says you gotta' just be whatever you want, and fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.
look, i'm not sure this is gonna' work out.
no. i can't do this. i'm not sure you even know who you are. much less who i am. have you ever even had a girlfriend?
well, if you think my brother's such a "joke," how much better could you think of me? we're not that different, you know?
and he's my best friend. if you don't like him, you can't like me.
"i wanna know how to go to the inside of love. i can't find my way through."
"i'm outside of love, to the side or above, i can't find my way with you"
you asshole!
i don't believe this. you slept with that guy?!
oh, please! what about max?
don't you care about him at all?!
oh, who cares, you idiot! and sorry to break it to you, but i'm straight too.
oh, christ, luke, -luca: i know who you are!
yes! so you can just go fuck yourself. -literally!
what if he does? do you?
and you're a girl!
there's no supposed to be anything, you just are!
well, then congratulations! you're a guy, just like every other guy i ever met! i can't believe you slept with him!
you're gonna' tell me he's a z too?! both of you?!
well, that's just perfect. what, is there something in the water around here?!
so what?! why's that so important to you?! there's no way this was gonna' work.
because you can't stand being one! bye, luca.
and leave me stuck.
maybe. i have to go to work.
no. i can't show up at work like this.